I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
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If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
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Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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