At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
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walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
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This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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