I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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