I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
