How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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