You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize