It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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