help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize