i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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