Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
