i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
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I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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