what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize