Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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