So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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