please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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