i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize