Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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