Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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