am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
be right there i have to get my cape
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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