Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.