I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.