My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime