absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
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It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
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Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.