I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
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That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
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I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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