I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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