3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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