You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
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Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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