Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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