so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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