It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
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Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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