Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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