It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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