I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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