whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.