wat bout pragnant strippers??
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize