In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.