I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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