There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.