I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty