You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize