question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
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i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
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I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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