I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I looked at my own cervix.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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