YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
