i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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