Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't deserve a penis
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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