Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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