Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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