mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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