I think i peed on brittanys purse
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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