sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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