I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want