just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.