im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped