Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.