I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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