She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize