I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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