It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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