Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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